Showing posts with label self thought. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self thought. Show all posts

Friday, March 20, 2020

3rd Day of RMO/MCO or whatever they call it, STAY AT HOME

Assalamu'alaikum, everyone.

This is a short post.

A quick recap:
  1. Up until 19/3/2020, Malaysia have 900 confirmed cases of COVID-19 positive and 2 deaths. Source: https://www.outbreak.my/
  2. 8600 cops have been deployed nationwide to ensure people abide by MCO (Movement Control Order). Source: https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2020/03/19/igp-8600-cops-deployed-nationwide-to-ensure-people-abide-by-mco?utm_source=outbreak.my
  3. Saudi Arabia suspends prayers at Makkah, Madinah mosques. Source: https://www.nst.com.my/world/world/2020/03/576367/saudi-arabia-suspends-prayers-makkah-madinah-mosques
  4. Good news - Electricity bill discounts for six months, starting from April. Source: https://www.nst.com.my/news/nation/2020/03/576177/electricity-bill-discounts-six-months-april
  5. Man arrested for violating MCO. Source: https://www.nst.com.my/news/crime-courts/2020/03/576262/man-arrested-violating-mco
I woke up late today, so there's nothing much to write about. 
What do I feel now: Bored and indifferent.
What am I going to do for the rest of the day: 
- Writing this post
- Watching movie "Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah 3", the one with Zul Ariffin in it (Mom wants to watch it again - I think it's because she likes Zul Ariffin 😂)
- Eat (Duh..) 
- Daydreaming
- It's Friday, so I should try at least spend my time doing ibadah such as zikr, selawat, read Al-Quran, solat, doa.
- Spend few minutes on Duolingo App, learning German. It's fun and I am hoping to be consistent in doing it along with my ibadah, insya Allah.

Israk Mikraj is just one/two days away, I think.
Should be prepared for that too.

That's all for now. JUST STAY AT HOME.
See you guys tomorrow, Assalamua'alaikum.

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Coretan Pertama 2020: Hari Kedua RMO

Assalamua'laikum, wahai para pembaca.

19 Mac 2020, hari kedua penguatkuasaan Perintah Kawalan Pergerakan. #RestrictionMovementOrder
Aku senaraikan perkara yang aku telah lakukan setakat ini (11 pagi waktu Malaysia):

- Bangun pagi
- Mandi
- Sarapan (Dua keping roti, sekeping keju, sos mustard dan sos koleslaw)
- Menulis dua perenggan dalam tulisan Jawi
- Belajar bahasa German selama 15 minit menggunakan perisian Duolingo (skil German aku sudah berkarat)
- Menulis post untuk blog ini

Sekali lagi aku perkenalkan diri kepada para pembaca terutamanya yang baru sahaja menjumpai blog ini (kemungkinan besar adalah kerana posting tentang MyBrainSc). Jadi inilah biodata ringkas aku dan perjalanan hidup aku dari segi karier dan pelajaran.

Nama: Nur Aqilah Zahirah Binti Norazmi (kau boleh cari aku di FB dan Insta, tapi aku takkan terima sebarang friend request melainkan aku kenal kalian personally).

Education Background:
2007-2011: SMK Shahbandaraya, Klang - SPM
2012-2013: Pusat Asasi Sains UM, KL - Asasi/Pre-University Foundation
2013-2017: University of Glasgow, UK - BSc (Hons) in Chem
2018-2020: Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia - MSc (Coursework) Chemistry
2020-2023: Got offer for a joint PhD Program (will be updated later)



Karier:
2015-2016: Volunteer Teacher (Sekolah Malaysia Glasgow)
2017-2018: Executive Administrative Assistant (TZ Engineering Enterprise)



Dalam post yang lepas, aku mengeluh mengenai keadaan aku yang tidak mendapat sebarang tawaran kerja selepas mendapat ijazah. Melihatkan keadaan aku yang menyedihkan itu (baca: pathetic), ibuku menyuruhku untuk bekerja di syarikatnya. Memandangkan aku sudah biasa bekerja di syarikatnya semasa cuti sekolah dan cuti musim panas, aku decide untuk proceed with it. Jujur aku katakan, pengalaman sepanjang bekerja di sana amat membantuku dari segi data management, presentation, interaction with companies and government agencies. Aku gunakan pengalaman tersebut sepanjang aku di UKM.

Sekadar di situ sahaja untuk biodata ringkas aku. Kalau aku rajin, aku tulis post khas untuk pengajian peringkat Sarjana. Manakala untuk sebarang pertanyaan mengenai biasiswa MyBrainSc dan permohonan universiti, ini yang aku dapat nyatakan berdasarkan pengalaman sendiri dan juga kawan2 terdekat (disclaimer: mungkin akan berubah dan sila tanya pihak Kementerian untuk kepastian):
  1. Kontrak selama 3 tahun dengan kerajaan hanya sekadar di atas kertas - janji kau laporkan kepada KPM/KPT selepas kau berjaya menamatkan pengajian. Be prepared, pastikan kau sudah ada perancangan selepas belajar SEBELUM kau habis belajar.
  2. Setakat ini, MyBrainSc masih menawarkan biasiswa untuk pengajian BSc/MSc/PhD di dalam dan luar negara, cumanya luar negara akan lebih sengit. Pastikan kau dapat tawaran daripada universiti yang top di dunia (senarai universiti ada tertera di laman web MyBrainSc).
  3. Tawaran bersyarat maksudnya ada perkara yang perlu kau selesaikan/hantarkan kepada pihak yang berkaitan (KPT/universiti) sebelum permohonan kau diterima sepenuhnya.
  4. Tempoh menunggu tawaran berbeza untuk setiap uni, tapi kau boleh hubungi mereka sekiranya masa menunggu terlalu lama atau kau mengejar deadline submission untuk permohonan MyBrainSc.
Mungkin aku patut buat another post about this, tengoklah rajin ke tak. It has been 7 years since I've applied to a UK uni, I might not be able to recall much.
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Berbalik semula kepada pos asal, tujuan aku menulis post adalah untuk menghilangkan kebosanan duduk di rumah dan juga ingin update blog ini. Dah "berhabuk".

Target aku adalah untuk ceritakan hari-hari aku sepanjang tempoh 14 hari berada di rumah.
Kedua-dua belah telingaku telah disumbatkan dengan earphone, pasang lagu di Spotify (main lagu-lagu yang sama berulang kali).
Sekarang tengah dengar lagu-lagu Lord Huron, jemput dengar di Spotify atau YouTube.
Lagu2 Lord Huron yang aku suka dan rekomen untuk kalian:

Album Strange Trails:-
The Night We Met (rasa kebanyakan orang tahu sbb 13 Reasons Why)
Meet Me in the Woods
Love Like Ghosts
Fool For Love
The Yawning Grave (lagu ni maksud dia seram lain macam, but then so are the whole album).

Album Vide Noir:
Semua best tapi my personal favourites are 
Wait by the River
When the Night is Over

Album Lonesome Dreams:
The Ghost on the Shore
She Lit a Fire

Tapi lagu yang aku dok ulang berkali2 sampai sekarang: All The Stars - Kendrick Lamar & SZA
Boleh la kot nak kata tu lagu kegemaran aku ya. Hehehe.
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Selain daripada perkara2 yang aku senaraikan di atas, aku yakin ramai orang akan banyak menghabiskan masa di media sosial. Sama juga untuk aku. Facebook, Instagram dan Twitter. 
Tapi ada banyak perkara lain yang boleh dilakukan, seperti membaca buku, menonton televisyen (or binge watching Netflix), memasak, dan lain-lain lagi.

It's okay, Malaysia. 12 days to go. It will be over before you know it.
Stay strong. Take care.
JUST STAY AT HOME.


ImageInsya Allah, bersambung dalam coretan esok.
Till then, Assalamua'laikum and Goodbye!

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Of Graduation and Moving On

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

May peace be upon you, dear readers.

3 years has passed since I wrote my last post. So, what happened during the off-radar period?

1) Alhamdulillah, I have graduated with a degree in Chemistry from University of Glasgow on June 2017.
My family and I - we got new addition to the family, baby Zahra. Such a cheeky little girl and cute too. By the way, graduates from Scottish universities does not wear mortar board during graduation ceremony. I wore it just for fun. :D
2) I'm back in Malaysia and currently working in a company in which my mom's the boss.
3) I have attended a German language course and planning to continue learning until I obtained the A2 certificate.

Basically, that's it.

WELL, IT'S NOT.

I kept spending my whole day every day regretting my past - thinking what I could have done better when I was still in the uni. Even with my degree, I still couldn't secure any job in chemical sectors, be it a chemist or lab assistant. My self-esteem went downhill, I'm feeling insecure, helpless and hopeless.

I had a conversation with my mom yesterday. It's a long conversation, so I'll just write the gist of it or at least, what I understood from the talk - I should have set up a concrete plan for my future from the start or at least before I graduated. Because now I'm lost, not sure what to do. If it weren't the fact that my mom owns a company, I will be jobless.

It has been 8 months since I graduated and I still couldn't figure out what I want to do - whether to work or continue my study. I did applied for jobs as advertised in Jobstreet, haven't got any offer so far. Got rejected many times - giving up seems to be the best option.

Even for Masters, I couldn't made up my mind - do I want to continue in Chemistry or try other courses such as MBA or Chemical Engineering. I am beyond grateful that I managed to apply for one Master course at USM, still waiting for reply though.

I am well aware of my problems, it's just that instead of facing them, I chose to hide and recluse myself in my created universe, my comfort zone. It is a place where you just go with the flow, accepting whatever that is in front of you. But there's a part of me that wants to live an adventurous life - I do not mean by backpacking and travelling - but by taking risks in every choice that I make. There's also another part of me that wants to stay, not wanting to be hurt by the cruel reality of the world.

Now I'm in a limbo, stuck between this two choices.

Or am I?

For it may be that I created the limbo on purpose or I am just being blinded with my daydreams (an alternate world where I imagine myself being perfect), preferring it than my real life.

I do not know. 

My dear fellow readers, I can not foresee the future and know how my life will turned out. I am not expecting the impossible, I just want to live my life happily and be grateful with everything that I had. At one point, I will be tired with daydreaming and regretting, and maybe that will be my turning point. I'm waiting for it, the leap of faith. I will make the leap without a doubt, I'm sure.

Maybe then I can finally move on.

To become a better person.
A good daughter, a good sister.
An obedient servant to my Lord.

Until then, I will try my best to live every single day and not giving up on my life.

And Allah knows best.

Das ist alles.

Goodbye for now. :)